The Japanese language is unusual among major languages in the high degree to which the speech of women seen collectively differs from that of men. Differences in the ways that girls and boys use language have been detected in children as young as three years old.
Such differences are sometimes called "gendered language." In Japanese, speech patterns peculiar to women are sometimes referred to as onna kotoba (女言葉, "women's words") or joseigo (女性語, "women's language"). The use of "gender" here refers to gender roles, not grammatical gender. A man using feminine speech might be considered effeminate or homosexual, but his utterances would not be considered grammatically incorrect. In general, the words and speech patterns considered masculine are also seen as rough, vulgar, or abrupt, while the feminine words and patterns make a sentence more polite, more deferential, or "softer" (countering abruptness).
There are no gender differences in written Japanese (except in quoted speech), and almost no differences in polite speech, except for occasional use of wa (and except for the fact that women may be more likely to use polite speech in the first place).
Major differences in the use of Japanese[]
| Female speakers | Male speakers |
|---|---|
| Use polite forms more often | Use polite forms less often |
| Use more tag questions | Use fewer tag questions |
| Avoid dropping respectful titles | Drop respectful titles more quickly |
| Use intrinsically feminine words and phrases | Use intrinsically masculine words and phrases |
| Use forms intended to soften speech | Use abrupt, rough-sounding forms more often |
Words for "I" or "me"[]
| Male or female | ||
|---|---|---|
| 私, わたし | watashi | polite, used by both men and women. In the Edo period, used to be used more frequently by women, but currently it is neutral. |
| 私, わたくし | watakushi | polite, used by both men and women; more formal than watashi. |
| 自分, じぶん | jibun | used by both men and women. However, in the Kansai dialect, jibun refers to "you". |
| うち | uchi | used by both men and women in some circumstances, especially when speaking of home and/or family, and also by young girls |
| One's own name | used almost exclusively by women. Greater frequency of usage connotes femininity. For men, the usage is limited to extremely feminine men and elderly male people. |
| Female | ||
|---|---|---|
| あたし | atashi | young girls, women, men expressing femininity; soft, feminine |
| あたくし | atakushi | formal form of atashi; women, mostly in formal situations |
| あたい | atai | more recently characteristic of the Tokyo "downtown" dialect; distinctly rough |
| Male | ||
|---|---|---|
| 僕, ぼく | boku | boys and young men, fairly casual; recently used by some girls. In songs, used by both sexes. |
| 俺, おれ | ore | informal form for men and boys, women NOT being feminine/polite; distinctly masculine, sometimes vulgar |
| 儂, わし | washi | old men |
| 我輩, 吾輩 | wagahai | archaic, somewhat boastful masculine |
| 俺様, おれさま | ore-sama | pompous, vulgar; boys, men, a combination of ore and the honourific title "sama" |
| 我, 吾 | ware | men, may sound old. |
Words for "you"[]
| Male and female | ||
|---|---|---|
| 君, きみ | kimi | men to close friends, lovers; superiors (including women) to inferiors. In songs, used by both sexes. |
| 貴方, あなた | anata | standard polite form when used by men, usual form used by women; (when used to address a husband or male partner): equivalent to "dear" |
| そちら | sochira | informal yet relatively neutral form for 'you', used among peers of similar age usually. Less insulting than anta (see below) |
| あんた | anta | informal contraction of standard anata; potentially insulting |
| Male | ||
|---|---|---|
| 手前 | temae | archaic, extremely hostile in its corrupted form temee (てめえ); men |
| こいつ | koitsu | directive pronoun, as in "this guy"; rather hostile |
| 汝 | nanji, nare | archaic, generally only used in translations of ancient documents to replace "thou" |
| お前, おまえ | omae | direct, abrupt; sometimes hostile; (when used to address a wife or female partner): equivalent to "dear" |
| 貴様 | kisama | formerly an extremely honorific form of address; in modern speech is as insulting as, but more refined than, "temee" |
| Female | ||
|---|---|---|
| あなた | anata | (when used to address a husband or male partner): equivalent to "dear" |
Sentence finals[]
| Feminine | ||
|---|---|---|
| わ | wa | gives a distinctly soft effect; not to be confused with wa in the Kansai dialect |
| わよ | wa yo | informative |
| わね | wa ne | ne is a tag question roughly meaning "don't you agree?" It is sometimes placed at the beginning, rather than the end of sentences and functions to soften |
| の | no | gives a distinctly soft effect; |
| のよ | no yo | informative/assertive |
| のね | no ne | explanatory/tag question |
| かしら | kashira | I wonder |
| Masculine | ||
|---|---|---|
| かい | kai | masculine form of the question marker ka |
| ぞ | zo | emphatic/informative |
| ぜ | ze | emphatic/informative |
| よ | yo | emphatic/informative; also used by women, but women often soften by adding wa |
| かなぁ | kanaa | I wonder |
